In tribute to all the veterans, I just wanted to repost this one about just one of many veterans, current and past.  God bless you all!!

A Week in the Life of Joseph Anthony Pulichene

On this day, March 14th, 66 years ago, the morning report of Company L, 255th Infantry Regiment of the 63rd Infantry Division read, “Departed Sarrenguemines Fr WQ 522 2015. Arrived forward assembly area Muhlen Wald Germany WQ 5261 2215”.

The day before, the morning report stated, “Co. received special training in attacking fortified positions and night attacks”.

The boys knew they were in for something serious.

My dad, Joseph Anthony Pulichene, was one of those boys. He and his buddies in Company L were getting ready for an advance against a German position. He would have celebrated his 19th birthday just days before on February 28th. What was going through his head THAT day as he waited for THAT moment? “Will I see my 20th birthday?” … might have been one thought.

Unfortunately he passed away many years ago when I was 21. I didn’t have the chance to ask him what it was like during those days in March, 1945. Although he may not have even told me as many WWII vets often kept their experiences to themselves. They knew and it didn’t need to be said.

My daughter and I have been walking his footsteps by way of Company L’s morning reports, trying to understand where he was and what he was going through. Maybe it was receiving an information packed CD from a granddaughter of a fellow Company L soldier, or recently viewing Ken Burns emotional documentary, “The War”, or maybe it was watching “Band of Brothers” on the monitor attached to an elliptical machine at my gym yesterday, but reading these morning reports last night moved me in a way I can’t explain.

Joseph Anthony Pulichene was a simple foot soldier being asked, as his entire generation was asked, to do the unspeakable. I hold no fanciful image of him charging a machine gun nest with a grenade in each hand. No … I think of him just as my dad. The guy who worked every day to raise his family, watched the Ed Sullivan and Dean Martin variety shows, drank with his friends at the Knights of Columbus, coached my little league team and was the loudest parent in the bleachers cheering me on the HS football field. He lived a blue collar life so I could go to an expensive college prep HS and see me at least through the middle of my senior year in college. He never knew what college really was all about, but he knew it was good and he wanted it for me.

That’s the terrified, skinny kid I pictured, staring out on that lonely, vast field in Germany he was about to cross 66 years ago. Maybe smoking what could have been his last cigarette, maybe saying a Hail Mary while clutching the Blessed Mother medal around his neck that his mom gave him the day he shipped out or maybe he was horsing around with his pals to mask his fear. That’s the guy who was ready to do the impossible.

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Morning Report: March 17

Location: 1 ½ Mi N Neumuhlerhof Ger

Note: Nelson, Donald E (Pvt), Pulichene, Joseph A (Pvt), Flikerson, Karl T (Pvt) Above 3 EM dy to clr 363 Med Bn LWA Germany Trfd DOP 7th A 16 March 45

Translation: Joe and two buddies were transferred to a medical unit to treat wounds suffered the day before. He received a Purple Heart for a shrapnel wound on his left bicep.

Fragility of Life

Took my first solo backpacking trip this past Labor Day weekend.  Nothing very dangerous or risk taking.  I knew where I was going, geared up appropriately, prepared for everything one should and notified my brothers where I was going along with the phone number for the nearest ranger station …..  just in case I didn’t make contact at a pre-appointed time.

….….. and the rain did come.  I gave myself a few merit badges for getting things right …. Shelter, Fire and Food …. in that order!    

After setting up my tent in record time, I started a fire with wet wood with the help of a homemade fire starter.   I cooked a fantastic Mexican dinner with fresh veggies, chicken and all the right spices ….. in the rain ...... and a luxurious breakfast of coffee and oatmeal the following morning …… also in the rain.  But that little bit of inconvenience did not dampen my mood.

In a quiet moment and to escape the pitter pat, I crept into my dry tent and snuggled into my zero degree Marmot sleeping bag.  Opening my journal that visited Nepal with me a few years back, I came upon an entry that I forgot all about.  It was called the “Fragility of Life”.

I include it now since it seems akin to my thoughts of being out by myself in the mountains of Colorado.

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Walking inches away from the edge of a cliff, certainly gives one pause.  The recent fallen snow didn’t need to add further encouragement to the possibility, as remote as it is, of a fall.

As we trekked to Everest Base Camp, I had that horrible, uneasy feeling.  Six days into the trek, after sharing many narrow trails with porters on foot and dzo (hybrid of a yak and a cow) caravans burdened with supplies destined for the remote Sherpa villages, I never had that feeling.

Why today?  Just that very uneasy feeling, the sixth sense kind.   “What if ….”.   I kept to the inside of the trail, used my trekking poles more diligently and looked to make sure every step was secure before taking the next.  I was actually frightened.

I softly thought the Buddhist chant … “om mani pedme hum” …. over and over again for comfort and concentration.   From time to time I did look up at the magnificence of the Himalayan Mountains and occasionally stopped for incredible photos.  Slowly the uneasiness faded and all was right with the world.  I was at peace.

I seriously thought about the fragility of life … my life.

In Japanese tradition, the cherry blossom (aka shakuro) signifies the fragility of life.  Its beauty only lasts but moments and is gone in a flash.  Each fallen petal represents the end of life.  Not that I consider myself to be a delicate flower, but the mere insignificance I felt and the sense of absolute mortality made me realize how true the saying is .… “you only live once”.

One careless step, a slip on a patch of snow could have ruined my day and everyday thereafter.

There are lots of reasons for living in the moment and enjoying what God has given me.  This bucket list trip to Nepal has opened my eyes, heart and senses in so many ways.  I am thankful for the moments along the way.

They include:

• ·      Sharing my brother’s 60^th birthday with a cake made by our Sherpa chef,
• ·      The old women with her weathered face smiling at us as she sat peacefully kneading her prayer beads,
• ·      The teenage Sherpa boys with their heavy loads strapped to their backs,
• ·      The shy  “namaste” of a little child greeting us along the way,
• ·      The full moon illuminating the freshly fallen snow,
• ·      The rising sun shining on a massive mountain right in front of our tent,
• ·      The tiny Sherpa villages with tin roof houses and the tiered freshly planted fields.
• ·      Sitting with a Buddhist monk at the Pangboche Monastery as he recited a prayer in his red robe wearing a puffy down jacket, Northface cap and orange Adidas sneakers with yellow stripes,
• ·      The yak bells sounding like wind chimes in the early morning as they started off on their journey north,
• ·      The emotions felt at the first sight of Everest!

The fragility of life is sweetened by the glorious moments we have.  Namaste!

It’s not the Kite, It’s the Air

Having to describe the music of contemporary rap music artists like JAY Z or Daft Punk, truly makes me the fish out of water. The compositions seem too foreign for me to appreciate beyond the pulsating rhythm and hypnotic cadence of its lyrics.  I am too embarrassed by my ignorance to describe the genre even further.

However there is an artist, Pharrell Williams, who caught my attention. This was not so much because of his current megahit “Happy” from Despicable Me 2, but because of this young man’s insights and humility.  He got me thinking.

In an interview several weeks ago on CBS’ Sunday Morning (my favorite network show), Pharrell was asked about being in the spotlight.   The question was asked because he is not known for being a headliner but, as he puts it, always a guy next to the guy.   In truth, his contributions to music are certainly noteworthy.  As a songwriter and performer, he has played major roles in the 2013 successes such as Robin Thicke’s “Blurred Lines” and Daft Punk’s “Get Lucky”.   As a producer, he has been involved in hit songs by Millie Cyrus, Kendrick Lamar, Beyoncé and JAY Z.

He never fit into a box as he also said.  In fact, his production company is called the House without A Roof.  He is smart, pleasant, well spoken and versatile.  Besides the music, he is a clothing designer and is marketing his trademark park ranger hat. 

When asked about his meteoric success, he did not take even the smallest bit of credit. When pushed, Pharrell mentioned the high school band teachers who were inspirational and provided him the skills and knowledge that helped him get where he is today.  When pressed about his talent and asked what he is best at, Pharrell looking puzzled by the question, said that as soon as a person figures out what they are best at, they will fail.  To paraphrase him, when people start believing that their success is because of only themselves, they become “delusional”.  In reality, success is due to so much more then individual talent.  It is primarily due to the support and encouragement of others.  In Pharrell words, “It's not the kite, it's the air”. 

Interestingly enough, on another Sunday Morning show that aired on July 6^th, Robin Thicke was interviewed.   The success that Robin had with “Blurred Lines” didn’t have quite the same paralleled good fortune as Pharrell’s success.  You see, Robin’s wife, Paula Patton, left him.  In fact, according to Robin in an interview with Hot 97 ….. “I changed and I got a little too selfish, a little too greedy and a little too full of myself.”   Perhaps Robin might have been better off heeding Pharrell’s advice.  

The moral of the story ….. Before you become too self-absorbed in how great you are, hear those words ever so softly …... “It is not the kite, it is the air”.  What a beautiful way to describe that aspect of personal success.  No matter how successful we become, there are always others that have played a major role in that success.   I am sure you can list a few.  Better yet … can you be the air to another’s kite? 

Motivational? ….  yeah right!

Well then …. a motivational speaker that actually motivated me … at long last.

We all have been to conferences and annual meetings where the keynote speaker was a famous football coach, a decorated military figure or a successful business leader with accolades and accomplishments as long as a roll of toilet paper.  Often, the toilet paper had more use after the talk was over.   To sadly punctuate that, those books purchased in the moment of reckless inspiration, line obediently uncracked on our bookshelves with the ernest intent to read.

In all honesty, there have been a few keynotes that have touched me and allowed the necessary ingredients to permeate my conscious thought enough to leave an impression and help me reflect beyond myself.

One of those was this past week at a leadership conference held by my employer.  The speaker’s glam shot in the conference material looked ordinary and unassuming as he did approaching the podium.   What transpired from then on was not that at all.

The speaker, Tommy Spaulding, talked about his humble and challenged life growing up in upstate New York with dyslexia that resulted in poor grades and a questionable future.  After barely graduating high school, his life took some astounding turns that provided direction and fulfillment.  His achievements included traveling the world in service with Up with People and ultimately acquiring it’s CEO role.  Peppered though his inspiring journey were a hard earned bachelor’s degree, a coveted Rotary Club scholarship, an MBA and founding a leadership development consulting firm in Denver.

Alone his triumphs, experiences, tenacity, energy and passion would have been enough to hit the mark but that would have been the typical rags-to-riches, against-all-odds motivational speech.  The shelf life of his talk would have been as short as all the others.  

What stood Tommy’s message apart was his realization that the common thread through it all was his ability to establish sincere and meaningful relationships.  It was not enough to make contacts and “Win Friends and Influence People” as espoused in the popular book by Dale Carnegie embraced by Tommy as bible early on.  The successes in his life where through the bonds he established by touching people in a deep and lasting way……. to go beyond a person’s cover page, to meet them where they are, to reach their soul and connect to someone at their core.

He relayed many examples through out his talk and are illustrated in his book, “It’s Not Just Who You Know”.  The examples are simple and basic and demonstrate how anyone can do this. 

You can read his book and derive your own meaning, but the essence to me was that genuine relationships occur when you step beyond yourself into another’s world for a deeper understanding of who they really are, despite their exterior.  Also, those relationships do not have to be many.  It is not a numbers game and how many contacts we have in LinkedIn or Face Book friends.  We are fortunate if we can count them on our fingers and blessed if we can extend the count to our toes.  

The proof of realizing that kind of personal success, is not our good deeds and grandeur but the memorable experiences we share with those we hold dear … our true friends and family.   It is about how we make each other feel.  It is of those continually embellished tales being repeated over and over at the kitchen table that bring smiles to some and “Oh, no! There they go again!” from others.  It is remembering the “when’s”.  It is in the exhilaration felt or the tear shed when that picture is discovered in a long forgotten box.  It is never missing a beat after years apart. 

I heard or read somewhere that the only way to achieve immortality is through the memories of others.   Let’s live forever ….. shall we?

Source:  “It’s Not Who You Know” by Tommy Spaulding

Bottled Up

"Hurricane Sandy Washes Up Years-old Message in a Bottle"

That was the title of a small article tucked within the left margin of the Nation and World Section of the Denver Post on Friday, July 12, 2013.  It tells the heart warming tale of a bottle that washed ashore in Patchogue, Long Island, New York during the massive hurricane that hit the East Coast shortly before.

The green plastic screw top soda bottle contained a note from, then a 10 year old girl, Sidonie Fery.  It simply contained a line from a popular movie at the time "Bill and Ted's Excellent Adventure".  According to the article, it reflected the young girl's perspective on life ...... "Be excellent to yourself, dude!"

The sad part of the story was that Sidonie died eight years after she tossed that bottle into the ocean in an accident while at a boarding school in Switzerland.  The park service workers who found the bottle gave it to Sidonie's mother who was obviously touched by the discovery and more so by their act of kindness. 

The story as wonderful and tragic as it is, is not what I am getting at. 

It got me thinking on a few levels.  First, I imagined that those bottles tossed into the ocean are not the corked up pirate treasure maps of boyhood dreams but are quite average and very human.  

Then I thought that besides the millions of bottles bobbing up and down in the sea, there are similar message delivering devices out there with the same aim.  What about time capsules?  School kids and public officials spend hours thinking about what to put in them.  What they want the future to understand about them, their town, their lives.  What about those countless tins buried by children in backyards or cigar boxes stuffed in rafters or under floorboards?   All have messages in word or object that have very real meaning to those who want it to be found.

Perhaps the contents are whimsical and fun with no ulterior motive other than to inform or entertain.  In the spirit of educating future generation, time capsules typically provide a pretty plain vanilla glimpse of how we living and what we hold important.  Not sure if the mayor of Anytown, USA would ever venture beyond including what the town's folk did that Fourth of July, Lily Jenkins was Miss Sweet Potato 2013 and the glorious accomplishments prominent citizens performed that year.  No deep dark scandal to shock future inhabitants, I bet. 

Regardless if it is a message of desperation, sadness, encouragement, joy, desire, simple information or just plain whimsy as in Sidonie's case, the contents are the depositors desire to get their own private thoughts out and share with someone.   Interesting enough .... that someone purposely is unknown...... a perfect stranger lucky enough to discover these very personal things adrift in the ocean or buried in the ground.  Why?   Well…why not. It is easier and safer to share ones inner feelings and secrets that way.  What harm or worry would it cause.  No one would question.   Not many would even bother, except for a few well-meaning park service employees. 

There a many other "bottles" floating aimlessly in the "sea" hoping and waiting to be discovered and its lonely contents shared.  Perhaps some bottles should remain lost and its messages kept silent.  Perhaps others messages should not be bottled up at all but shared with those who care.  Then again, perhaps some bottles really do contain maps to hidden treasures.  Perhaps …..

Tony and Me

The question for today is what is the connection between Veteran’s Day, Tony Bennett and me?

Give up? 

Well… It all came together on June 19, 2013 when I attended a Tony Bennett Concert at the Denver Botanic Garden.  To set the stage, it is an informal outdoor venue with no assigned seats, in fact no seats.  Typically, you lay on blankets or sit in your own folding chair that can be no more than 26 inches tall, bring a picnic basket, your favorite beverage and listen to music in the glorious evening weather that only Colorado can offer.

That is when our eyes met … me and Tony ….  and he threw me a kiss.  Now it is getting good, you might be saying to yourself.

What drew Tony’s attention to me was a sign I held up.  This was very uncharacteristic of me to draw such attention but I had to.  I was driven by a very powerful need to create this moment and I wasn’t going to miss the opportunity. 

Truth be told, this was the second night in a row I saw Tony but the first time I chickened out!   So on the way home from the first night’s concert with some trepidation but welcomed encouragement by another Toni with an “i”, I stopped at the local Walgreen to buy a white poster board and wide tipped magic markers.  I rushed home and created a rudimentary sign that a first grader would make fun of.  

The sign was not in color and not fancy at all.  It simply read ….. “63^rd INF.  DIV   255^th INF REG”.

You see ….  Tony Bennett, then Anthony Benedetto, served during World War II in the 63^rd Infantry Division, 255^th Infantry Regiment at the same time my dad, Joseph Anthony Pulichene, another skinny Italian kid from NYC, served.  Although they were in different Companies and most likely never met, there was still a connection for me.  So out of respect for Tony, my dad, and all the others who served with them, I had to honor them in this awkward way and at that moment. 

Now my plot unfolds.  Having been there the night before, I planned where to sit for maximum exposure.  We got up within ten feet of the stage.  Planted our 26 inch tall folding chairs, opened our picnic basket, munched a bit and sipped our beverage of choice.  The concert was proceeding beautifully.  Even at age 84, Tony was at his best and the crowd was loving him.   People were dancing, singing and enjoying every word he sang and every note the band played. 

After building up the nerve to hold up the sign, I waited for the right moment when he was looking right at me.  The moment came.  It took Tony a brief second and then he smiled.  He looked at me, waved, gave me the thumbs up and threw me a kiss. I was totally thrilled and felt like a kid, grinning and beaming with delight.

When Tony finished his song, he pointed to me and the sign and explained to the audience the connection ….. that he served in 63^rd Infantry Division, 255^th Infantry Regiment during WWII.  I can’t remember all he said since I was frozen by the limelight but Tony was visibly appreciative of the gesture.

However, I was a little disappointed that he didn’t call me up on stage to join him in a duet.  Maybe next time.

I have to admit …..  that was one of the most meaningful moments in my life.  Not because Tony threw me a kiss, although that was pretty awesome, but because I was able to honor him and my dad and let them know that they and the other WWII veterans were not forgotten.   They are of a treasured generation that had sacrificed and accomplished so much.  We must not forget them and what they did for us so we can freely and safely enjoy an outdoor concert on a beautiful summer evening.  Hence the connection with Veteran’s Day

God bless them all!

Are We Salmon?

"They go not only from cradle to cubical, but then to the casket, without uncovering their greatest talent and potential", Tom Rath, Strength Finder.

I just finished reading Mr. Rath's well researched book and loved the concept.  The premise is summed up beautifully in another quote from his book. He and another researcher "were tired of living in a world that revolved around fixing our weaknesses.  Society's relentless focus on people's shortcomings had turned into a global obsession.  What's more, we had discovered that people have several times more potential for growth when they invest energy in developing their strengths instead of correcting their deficiencies."

In reading just the first 30 pages, it became apparent to me that many people who journey along the State of Being Cycle in pursuit of "Being" someone or something, may be pursuing an ideal or dream that is not in their arena of strengths.  We might be "fixing our weaknesses" versus developing our strengths.  Like swimming up stream, we may get there but with a lot of effort and it is very easy to slip back, giving way to the opposing current, hence the title of this blog.

In another aspect, some people may not take the plunge at all but just timidly waiting and not jumping from the State of Desire to the State of Being Cycle.  They know deep down that it is the wrong cycle to be on.  Perhaps it is not a question of being wrong or scared but just not knowing what is right.

Having gone thought the Strength Finder questionnaire and seeing the results, it becomes very clear that trying to achieve the attributes and traits we admire in others and aspire to acquire, may rob ourselves of those opportunities that are as clear as the nose on our face.  After gazing in my mirror, I realize that my own nose despite being a little pointy, is pretty darn good. 

Maybe in those moments where things are just not coming together, we need to step back and take a look at why.  I submit that perhaps we are needlessly trying to swim upstream.  Would it not be much easier to “go with the flow”?  Often we think that is going backwards and falling behind, but I also submit that the chances of surviving a Class V rapid is much greater going with it, not against it.

In the terrific true account of Teddy Roosevelt's epic journey down the "River of Doubt" (a book with the same title by Candice Millard), I found a perfect analogy.  At one part of this harrowing trip, a very wide and calm stretch of the river quickly narrowed to a space that a canoe could not even get through, bordered by high canyon walls.  The intensity of the funneled water increased exponentially into a powerful force that couldn't possibly be imagined.  Now think in term of your strengths.  How might they be channeled to generate a force that couldn't possibly be imagined?

Perhaps shifting to another State of Being Cycle …… one that plays to our strengths is certainly worth consider.

Mr. Rath also points out that strength is a combination of one’s natural abilities and the investment of time and effort to develop that talent (Talent + Investment = Strength). This makes perfect sense and the concept resonates with me.

I would like to add two things to that equation ..... desire and passion.  My interpretation is that talent is the fundamental ingredient and an obviously critical component.  Investing in your talent gives it the capacity to flourish.  To me, desire is the match and passion is the accelerant that makes things happen.  In my extensive study involving absolutely no data nor supporting clinical research, the degree to which a talent is fueled can turn it from a marshmallow-roasting campfire to a raging forest fire.  Without the fire of desire (sorry for the rhyme) and the accelerant of passion, talent could only be a pile of logs that once engaged could run out of fuel and burn out no matter how many logs you build upon.

Therefore, my equation is this ..... (Talent + Investment) x (Desire + Passion) = Strength

The moral of the story is that recognizing that you are on the wrong cycle is the best that can happen and the sooner the better.  Get on another that is flowing in your direction so you can glide effortlessly and swiftly propelled by your strengths.

Bottom line ….. we are not salmon after all.

God speed on your journey!

Recommended reading:

•   "Strength Find 2.0" by Tom Rath

•   "River of Doubt" by Candice Millard