Motivational? ….  yeah right!

Well then …. a motivational speaker that actually motivated me … at long last.

We all have been to conferences and annual meetings where the keynote speaker was a famous football coach, a decorated military figure or a successful business leader with accolades and accomplishments as long as a roll of toilet paper.  Often, the toilet paper had more use after the talk was over.   To sadly punctuate that, those books purchased in the moment of reckless inspiration, line obediently uncracked on our bookshelves with the ernest intent to read.

In all honesty, there have been a few keynotes that have touched me and allowed the necessary ingredients to permeate my conscious thought enough to leave an impression and help me reflect beyond myself.

One of those was this past week at a leadership conference held by my employer.  The speaker’s glam shot in the conference material looked ordinary and unassuming as he did approaching the podium.   What transpired from then on was not that at all.

The speaker, Tommy Spaulding, talked about his humble and challenged life growing up in upstate New York with dyslexia that resulted in poor grades and a questionable future.  After barely graduating high school, his life took some astounding turns that provided direction and fulfillment.  His achievements included traveling the world in service with Up with People and ultimately acquiring it’s CEO role.  Peppered though his inspiring journey were a hard earned bachelor’s degree, a coveted Rotary Club scholarship, an MBA and founding a leadership development consulting firm in Denver.

Alone his triumphs, experiences, tenacity, energy and passion would have been enough to hit the mark but that would have been the typical rags-to-riches, against-all-odds motivational speech.  The shelf life of his talk would have been as short as all the others.  

What stood Tommy’s message apart was his realization that the common thread through it all was his ability to establish sincere and meaningful relationships.  It was not enough to make contacts and “Win Friends and Influence People” as espoused in the popular book by Dale Carnegie embraced by Tommy as bible early on.  The successes in his life where through the bonds he established by touching people in a deep and lasting way……. to go beyond a person’s cover page, to meet them where they are, to reach their soul and connect to someone at their core.

He relayed many examples through out his talk and are illustrated in his book, “It’s Not Just Who You Know”.  The examples are simple and basic and demonstrate how anyone can do this. 

You can read his book and derive your own meaning, but the essence to me was that genuine relationships occur when you step beyond yourself into another’s world for a deeper understanding of who they really are, despite their exterior.  Also, those relationships do not have to be many.  It is not a numbers game and how many contacts we have in LinkedIn or Face Book friends.  We are fortunate if we can count them on our fingers and blessed if we can extend the count to our toes.  

The proof of realizing that kind of personal success, is not our good deeds and grandeur but the memorable experiences we share with those we hold dear … our true friends and family.   It is about how we make each other feel.  It is of those continually embellished tales being repeated over and over at the kitchen table that bring smiles to some and “Oh, no! There they go again!” from others.  It is remembering the “when’s”.  It is in the exhilaration felt or the tear shed when that picture is discovered in a long forgotten box.  It is never missing a beat after years apart. 

I heard or read somewhere that the only way to achieve immortality is through the memories of others.   Let’s live forever ….. shall we?

Source:  “It’s Not Who You Know” by Tommy Spaulding