Settling is for Rocks

If you ever had the privilege of standing before the majestic Grand Canyon, you will witness a jaw-dropping display of intense natural beauty. The layers of red, orange, green, brown and tan create a rainbow of earth tone colors spanning every corner of sight. The senses are shocked by its magnificence and fooled into thinking it is only an illusion.

The Grand and its many smaller branch canyons were formed by millions of years of shifting and colliding tectonic plates, raging rivers and punishing winds, revealing dramatic rock formations that chronicle the history of our world.

Diving deep into the canyon, you can touch and feel the passage of time through each layered ribbon composed of rocks, sandstone, and sediment from ancient seas that settled over the centuries with the help of crushing gravity and enormous pressure.

As the canyon’s rocks have settled, people settle too. We settle for things material and for matters of the heart.

Settling for the material is easy to understand. It is either a Lexus or a Toyota, an apartment or a house, a suit or a pair of pants and a sport coat. We settle the material for convenience, cost, fit, availability, a deadline (Sale ends at midnight!!) or we just can not make up our mind and forced to decide.

Think of the last time you settled for something material. Were you relieved and happy or disappointed and feeling shorted. If it was the latter, fear not for it is easily fixed. Just trade in the Toyota for that Lexus or buy that house when your lease expires. Easy right?

Settling for the matters of the heart is very different. Settling for matters of the heart have long lasting affects, creating a feeling of loss that often cannot be regained. After all, it is a dream and a passion that has been diluted, leaving you hungry and unsatisfied.

In the context of the State of “Be”ing Cycle, settling is not taking those affirmative steps toward “be”ing someone or something . It is not even a “sideliner” that knocks you off the cycle you were on. Settling is much more painful.

If that is true, why do we settle on matters of the heart? Why do we trade in huge dreams for those with less loft? (Hint … this is the part where you pause, reflect and say “hhhmmm”!).

Now for the multiple choice quiz.

We settle because we:
A.) Fear making the leap,
B.) Underestimate our ability or conviction,
C.) Hear those “encouraging” comments such as “You’re too old (or young)”, “You can’t possibly do that!”, “It is just a phase that you’ll get over”.
D.) Are just too damn tired of the fight and simply give up,
E.) All of the above.

Now for extra credit. There is another ….. that of being “comfortable”.

Lots of us make the safe bet. We don’t loose but then again we don’t win. We stay in place like swimming against a strong current. There’s lots of spent energy, a feeling of doing but in reality accomplishing little. Another way of looking at it and tying back to the Canyon introduction (at last!), is gravity and pressure. The gravity of comfort is relentlessly pulling us to make the safe decision and there is enormous pressure exerted to keep us to it.

Take that local job and not hold off to pursue the one where you dreamt of living, get that 30 year plaque and not start that business when you knew you had the perfect idea, stay in a familiar relationship that’s safe and not take the risk by following your heart and passions. The list goes on………

Although, these are not bad or wrong decisions and there can be many positive outcomes. However, the most unsettling reality is regret, even when you convince yourself there is none.

In the quiet of your room as you lay awake at night staring into the darkness ..…. you know the answer…. hhhmmmm